panic mode ON

So granted this is totally my fault for not being better informed when I applied to grad school in the first place (silly me, I just looked to see where my academic idols were congregated and basically applied on this alone), but now that I've actually read some requirements for my particular program, I am totally freaking out and wondering how I'm going to manage.

1) Apparently while I'm fully funded with stipend for five years, the actual program is supposed to last six or seven. This provokes two reactions:
a) WHERE THE HELL AM I GOING TO GET FUNDING??? MOMMYBANK????
b) SIX OR SEVEN YEARS? AHHHHH!!! I'm going to be an old, withered hag by the time I graduate! (Ok, maybe not really, BUT STILL)

2) By my fourth year, I'm supposed to pass translation exams for two different languages relevant to scholarly study
a) I want to focus on Asian/AMERICAN literature (does English count as a relevant language? hah...hah...hah? DEAD)
b) I currently read NO languages besides English. How am I going to manage to pick up two in four years??? (Man, I better get on that youtube Spanish!)

3) I have a huge oral exam at the end of my first year that's supposed to cover fifty texts
a) I
b) am
c) such
d) an
e) admissions
f) mistake
g) CAPSLOCKPANIC