end of an era

I suspect that when your particular program accepts only a limited number of students each year, you end up being highly invested in making sure that nearly all the accept-ees matriculate. This sets off an interesting and highly delicate process of courtship: fellowships and stipends are offered, egos stroked, and tenure-track hiring records constantly reiterated.

Today, I received personal emails from two faculty in my particular program--doesn't sound like anything out of the ordinary, but then again, you'd have to know me to understand why that was the smartest advertising ploy they could have ever pulled.

See, I've never been one to be any kind of celebrity fangirl. While I admittedly partake in my fair share of gossip websites (perezhilton, dlisted, thesuperficial, anyone?), I can't say that I've ever harbored excited daydreams about meeting famous people or even been particularly moved by their "accomplishments." However, when it comes to academic scholars, the tables are completely and wholly turned. The thought of meeting or interacting with any of my intellectual idols is enough to transform me into the equivalent of a screaming tween at a Hannah Montana concert.

So receiving six polite paragraphs (which, swoon, also contained plans for an actual one-on-one chat during the admissions visit!) basically made my day, and by made my day, I mean made me dance around my room like a ridiculous idiot. At this point, however, I suddenly realized: Dear god, I'm going to have to actually take classes with these two professors. And when that happens, I cannot behave in such an embarrassingly star-struck manner.

I think this basically means that the time in my life where I viewed certain intellectuals as unattainably distant rockstar-gods is over, and that (sadly, sadly!) I'm going to have to start understanding that academics are also, you know, actual human beings.

Woe. I feel like this is the end of my intellectual childhood. Now who have I got to place on a pedestal? (No matter, perhaps I can secretly continue to fangirl the ones that won't be at my program!)